Testing My Independence

Reflections of my Chronic Diseased Life: Today, my independence was tested. On the beginning of each month, I have errands to do. One of the three most important things are: go to the bank and get a money order to pay rent, go to Toledo to my most favorite restaurant in the entire world, First Watch for breakfast, and then head to Fresh Thyme to stock up on meat for the month because the prices are fabulous for organic grass fed proteins.

The bank and First Watch went off without any difficulties. Fresh Thyme, sigh. My scooter decided to be extremely problematic. The column where I steer and control the speed, has a large knob where you can unlock or lock the column to upright or down position, fell off. The scooter is now not steerable to go anywhere. My friend Caroll Madden Schlorff and I could not attach the knob back to the scooter so I could drive it. We were in the parking lot and I was trying not to scream and just cry.

My anxiety and panic set it. How will I access my apartment when I get home? I cannot walk for more than 5 feet. After 15 minutes of trying to attach the knob back with no success, Caroll put the scooter back in my car, we head back home. Everyone we know has plans or is busy and cannot help to put the knob back on. This becomes scary for me, I need to have a backup plan. It was the most longest stressful drive home. This means I need to have a wheelchair ready to transport me from the car into my apartment when the scooter does not work.

Caroll went to my apartment and got my walker. I had to walk from my car to the apartment, with her in front of my walker to prevent me from losing control when my legs do not move. This long ass walk to my apartment took about 20 minutes. By now, my body feels like a bowl of jello, my legs are just useless and I’m worn out.

I’m not sure what my next steps are. I know first thing Monday morning, I will be making a service call to get my scooter looked at. Second, get my backup plans in place because this was a wake up call. Third, try to be optimistic and not let my MS kick my chronic diseased butt!