Today, I had to get a few things from the store and I wanted to test my scooter because I had it repaired. I took a shower the night before so I would not be exhausted when I went out.  I was able to tackle one store, but the struggle started. I had a hard time with my legs trying to get in the car. The second store, I just had my friend get the three things I needed, I stayed in the car trying to get my left dead-weight leg working. The third store I was able to get out and get things I needed, but the legs were still not cooperative. BTW my scooter is still not right. Argghhh!!

Then, the thinking started. I thought about what I missed. The simple task of just going to the grocery store to get a few things, by myself. Just getting out and doing stuff , those days are over. I have to go with someone. I have to plan ahead, before I can even schedule something. I have to make sure I don’t run out of things because I can’t just get up and go. Reality has set in, I’m in a very different place now in my life. I have to accept it and just realize this is my reality. My MS will not make me bitter, jealous, and want things I can’t have. Bound and determined not to let my MS kick my butt!

I think we take life for granted. I know I did. Years of seeing people in wheelchairs, senior citizens struggling to get food from their scooters or trying to find a handicap parking spot, watching people become agitated waving at handicap people impatiently out of the way, because their time has been interrupted by someone struggling to cross the sidewalk or walkways, and even family, partners and friends change.

Typical day: the impossibles every moment of my day and yet somehow as the sun goes down, I always make it. When laying in my recliner, feeling beat up, worn out, battered and bruised, taking a minute to look back over the day, I realize that the my inner warrior kicked some major MS butt. 💪I pushed through my day with my legs and hands cramping up, tingling, hot/cold sensations while my head is buzzing, spinning and feeling lopsided. I feel like I’m on a high speed roller coaster ride. Oh, and then trying to speed dash with one leg dragging sometimes leg locking to the bathroom…well, almost. But I’m so thankful it’s not a major mess and I have a change of clothes in the bathroom, and no one even noticed that before I was wearing a pair of black shorts instead of the blue jean ones I’m wearing now.