I know this happens to all of us, life changes. Our likes, dislikes, patience is a virtue, being tolerant of people, body changes, illnesses, and so on. I know I’m not patient or tolerant of things because my life has changed. Yesterday, I turned 58. I’ve had Multiple Sclerosis now for 30 years and I haven’t seen any new big breakthroughs with this disease or with other help needed to function on a daily basis. Insurance and the government are huge barriers to trying to survive, expenses are astronomical, living is not as simple.

I think my biggest challenge with my patience is people comparing my everyday challenges and things to their own struggles. This irks me. I am in a wheelchair struggling with nerve pain pretty much 24/7 and constantly battling fatigue. One person tried to tell me that what I am experiencing everyday in terms of trying to cook, clean, shower with my mobility issues is very similar to what they had to go through with their deaf child. It took a lot of energy just to nod, bite my tongue and just kind of grimace-smile. Other things that often hit me like a ton of bricks is when I share how I feel when I’m not able to go do stuff because where I live is not much going on or just not able to get around, I am reminded that I have celebrated things before with friends “back then, the good ole days”. It is a painful reminder of what my life was at one time.

When I talk about how I feel it’s compared to sone one else’s life or I’m told I need to do art. Doing art does not come quickly for me. It takes a lot of effort on my part to get things out on canvas. Art cones in spurts. I just cannot draw something on a moments notice as quickly as someone can spit it out. Should I say something? I know I will run into the risk of upsetting the other person or their attitude changes towards me. I just don’t know.