Things have been really different for a few years. Moving home and starting over with my life definitely has been a journey. I still struggle with people in my Deaf community because I don’t think they really understand my thoughts or what I try to relay when I write. For example, a friend thought that because I was commenting about things related to my MS and it appeared to this person that I was depressed, lonely and I needed someone to talk to. Actually it was the furthest thing from my mind, I was trying to show how difficult it is how debilitating disease and trying to get things that I need every day for me. When this person mentioned that to me I was kind of taken back by her comment.

When I share some personal things with people because they ask or because I need to just talk about it, it’s very hard to listen to what other people say because I don’t always agree with their logic. For example, I was talking about a situation that happened in my life and how I have learned to overcome that, words that come out of other peoples mouth, well this person is narcissistic. That’s a hard pill to swallow because I don’t see it that way. Sometimes I get emotional or sensitive about things that I’ve shared it affects my mobility really bad and I have to sit back and wonder if while other people are saying about my situation is really accurate.

It amazes me at times when people that I’m very close to seem to think that they can say stuff to me about my appearance or my hair and compare me to something that’s ugly and they think it’s OK. I don’t do that to people all and it just surprises me that it’s done to me. Sometimes I can’t help about the way I look because they are times I just can’t do a lot because of my issues with my MS. Honestly, I don’t think that I should had to be presentable someone just because they think I don’t look great knowing what my situation is.

I don’t think I’m making a whole lot of sense on this blog post but I’m getting it out because it’s bothering me and I’m trying to figure out some stuff.