Couldn’t sleep, so thought I would jot down some things that happened this week. I am pretty sure that I had little MS attack although my body hasn’t really stopped buzzing since last weekend. We had high temperatures this week and I think I became over-heated as well. We all know that people who have MS cannot be over-heated. It causes so many problems. So I was a victim of being over-heated. I had to call in sick for the first time in 3 years because of a small set-back. So frustrating for me. My legs, arms, hands, back and my head is buzzing. It is not tingling this time, it buzzes. I am amazed at myself though because I got through the work week without getting into a huge fight with someone because that is how rotten I feel right now. I did have a huge debate with someone, and I am sure I disturbed the office, have to work on that. Cannot let people see me lose control because I am not feeling well.

I feel like sometimes I am powerless to change anything. I have to listen to my body. Listening to my body is one of the most hardest things to do because I have so many things I want to accomplish. Places to go, people to see, things to get done at work and going back to school. But when my body says ok, this is enough I have to stop and take care of myself. If I do not do this, I will pay for it later. I think people who have MS can relate.  Don’t get me wrong I do love to sleep, but sometimes I think…… well suppose if something does happen and I am not able to do anything anymore, which I dread this day but I have to prepare myself for because it can happen. But…. I feel like I need to do everything I can before this does happen. I have so much to do. I have so much to see. I have so many things to accomplish. I have goals that I want to achieve. I have so many dreams. My mind does not stop. It goes and goes.

My sister thinks I’m nuts sometimes. Because I think and think. She swears I’m adopted. I think that is so funny. But she is right, I do think and create things in my head. She becomes so amazed at my though process. She says I need to have paper around me all the time to write down everything I think because I have so many things to do, and create. I love to create. How can I be productive if I cannot do anything because my body shuts down sometimes. I am frustrated. This has been such a frustrating week!